Okay. So the title sounds a little dramatic, but I’ve learned that some people (little, big; young and old) may try to throw you off your game, do not let them! Hectic schedules, late days at the office, last minute calendar changes, cranky kids and pets – these are all things that can throw you off. But don’t give in!
For instance, this morning was my gym training day and P decided to make frittata for breakfast. This particular frittata consisted of eggs, bacon, hash browns, cheese, and some veggies. My typical breakfast on workout days is: oatmeal, banana, blueberries, coffee and water. For anyone out there who exercises, you frigging well know there’s no way you can go to the gym with eggs in your belly – are you crazy?! Do you know what happens to people if they have eggs before a workout? Oh no. No way.
Needless to say, I really wanted to eat the darn thing and it took major willpower just to eat my regular breakfast. However, it wasn’t a huge battle to say “no thanks” to P; and he didn’t put any pressure on me to eat it (though it really wouldn’t have taken a lot to get me to eat it, sadly). He’s incredibly supportive of everything I do (even when he totally disagrees.) But this got me to thinking about those people in life who may try to throw your routine and training off the rails, whether intentionally or not, it makes the journey just a little bit trickier!
I’m fortunate enough to have really phenomenal support from lots of places. I attribute this to being open about my beliefs and goals. The people I surround myself with know what I’m up to and are superbly encouraging. Side-note: I have great friends who I laugh and cry with, share worries and scares with and celebrate victories and milestones with. However, not everyone is this lucky; sadly sometimes you have to identify the negative and cut them loose – it ain’t easy but boy when it’s all said and done it feels great!
I must admit that this most recent attempt to lose weight and complete half-marathon has been completely different than anything else I’ve tried before. Maybe it’s because I’m a little older and wiser (hah!) Or because I have a wicked group of people who surround me (they’re motivated and driven just like me). I believe it’s because they’re not competitive and can happily celebrate the accomplishments in my life and vice-versa. And it’s great to share these things with the people who have been marvellous cheerleaders. (Thank you pals!)
Now, I can’t honestly sit here and pretend I’ve never been a saboteur (albeit not intentionally). But I have been that friend to encourage another drink or treat – so let me apologize! As a former saboteur, sometimes we forget how hard it is to train and eat properly if we’re not in the same place. I have had friends who would pressure me to drink or eat junk. I’d have to remind myself that they just wanted me to have fun and cut loose. Which is why it was awkward to have to say, “No, I’m trying to do X.” Sometimes they’d give me shit for it and tell me it wouldn’t make a difference. But it does. And luckily for me, I don’t have a problem with being honest; so I could say, “Frig off. I’m trying to stay on track. This is my goal.”
Which leads me to the following. For anyone who has a hard time being vocal, here’s a pretty simple way to stop the sabotage:
- Have a heart-to-heart. Like your family, your friends may not know what they’re doing. Telling him/her that you need his/her help to lose weight may make him more supportive.
- Distance yourself. If your friend doesn’t change his or her behavior, you may need to take a breather from that relationship. (This is hard, but life is short and if you want to reach your goals sometimes you need to cut certain people out.) – AMEN, Sista!
- Find support elsewhere. Whether it’s a support group or another friend who’s trying to lose weight or reach the same goal, find people who are on the same page and can help you keep those healthy habits. – I have been lucky and have a good pal to run with on weekends. This keeps me on track throughout the week.
I found the following on About.com and laughed because I think we all know people like this:
Some things a sabotaging friend may say or do:
- “Boy, I feel fat today. Do I look fat?” The problem? She’s thinner than a toothpick while you’re several pounds overweight.
- You’re at a restaurant and your friend digs into a juicy burger, saying, “I don’t know how you can eat that salad. I would just die if I had to eat that all the time.”
- You mention you’re joining a gym and your friend says, “I heard that exercise can actually make you fat. Oh, you haven’t heard that? Well, I’m sure it won’t happen to you.”
- You’re at a bar and mention you’re on the wagon to lose weight. Your friend shouts, “A round of tequila shots, bartender! Hey, just one drink won’t hurt, right?”
- You’re on the way to the gym and your friend calls with an emergency. You skip your workout to help, only to find out her ’emergency’ was not wanting to watch American Idol by herself.
Finally, don’t self-sabotage. If someone is trying to push you off the rails use that fuel to keep yourself on track.
Don’t make excuses.
In my quest for information, I found these 10 Golden Rules for Friendship. They’re great.