So far I’ve learned that blogging can make people feel uncomfortable, happy, relieved, bitter, elated and everything in between. I’ve learned that just because I’m confident in sharing my ups and downs, others just aren’t. And while there’s oodles of support out there, unfortunately there are just as many Debbie Downers.
So the primary focus of this blog is to chronicle my journey to half-marathon. If it helps inspire other people, that’s fantastic and a true honour. I share these details so that others know it’s alright if you can’t walk to the mailbox right now, lift 100 lbs weights or just feel crappy. There is light at the end of the tunnel. So I thought I would also share more details on where I was a little over a year ago.
I was only wearing yoga pants. And though I’m mortified to admit it, I was still wearing some of my maternity clothes (my son was born Feb 2011). I was busy worrying about how horrible I’d look at the gym, rather than just getting my arse into gear and going. I HATED having my picture taken, at least from the waist down; and for all those out there who like to take skinny-photos, talk to me I know all the angles! I never shared many photos like the one below because I was really ashamed of myself. I was worried about what others would think of me; how I had “let myself go”; “gained soooooo much weight.” etc. It’s always funny when word gets back to you or you hear whispers of what people think. Most of the time they’re totally off-base; and generally lack the life experience to pass any type of judgement. I have to laugh though, because it’s usually the same people who have something to say about everything. And never nice. But now I realize now how silly I was to feel that way. So what if people thought I got fat? I did!
A year ago I couldn’t do a push-up. Not one. Seriously. I couldn’t. I would’ve liked to blame it on just having a kid and having no..uhh..chest muscles, but that’s not the case. I could never do one. Ever. I also couldn’t do a side plank. At all (unless I cheated with one leg on the floor.) And I definitely couldn’t do a back bend. Are you kidding me? At my first yoga class I sat there in awe of everyone who could. And silently thought to myself, “There’s no way I’ll ever be able to do this.” Yet, being as stubborn as I am; watching others successfully complete the pose was the impetus I needed to get my arse in gear.
But now a year later I can do them all. I don’t look pretty whilst in the process, but it doesn’t matter. And I’m certainly not a pro. It’s sort of like running. If you run, you’re a runner. If you try to run, you’re a runner. These may seem like minor things to those of you ultra and elite athletes out there, but it’s been a huge deal to me. I’m healthy. I can run around with a kid and actually enjoy myself. I don’t sit on a bench, on my iPhone and watch him entertain himself. I actually get down in the dirt and play.
There are lots of things I couldn’t do a year ago and still can’t – like a headstand, which is next on the list. But I plan on tackling my list of “cannot” and turning it on its arse. Hey -anything is possible!